Financial Skeptics Pillows

"We'll keep you poor throughout your life, but at least you'll be rich after you die."

"Ask about paying by Direct Debit."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Standard & Poor

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

It's the same ingredients and aftertaste as stimulus 1..."

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

How Supply-Side Economics Works.

"Have you ever wanted something so bad that you'd actually save up the money to buy it?"

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

Deposits Insured By The U.S. Government (which has a $29 Trillion Debt).

'We can tell the public, ' the good news is we've eliminated the middleman, The bad news is we've eliminated a lot of other jobs.''

"Remember, we must project the illusion that our main responsibility is to our stockholders."

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

EuroPygmees