Career Skeptic Pillows

"It's a perfect position for you...You'll be able to use your degree in advanced Mathematics to count the tins you're stacking!"

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

The world's most unemployable family

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"According to your resume, you've done nothing of any real significance since inventing the wheel."

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'And the recruiter from IBM - did you also tell him that at college you mostly sat on a rock by the sea, trying to find yourself?'

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'You're too big to fail and be fired, but too small to move up to the job you'd like'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

Jones, Needham, Pinkner, Fortney - Just doing their jobs.

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"I'd like your honest, unbiased and possibly career-ending opinion on something."

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

You are more than your job description.

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

'You don't have much of a work history, do you, Mr. Laren?'

'You're not quite what we had in mind.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'You were a boring accountant in ten previous lives.'

"You could do a lot worse then be good at football... I know... some people have to settle for politics."