Career Guidance Skeptic Pillows

"Have you thought about continuing to be a downtrodden member of the underclass?"

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

Blend Schools

'Nothing serious. I just hate my job.'

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

School of Baristas

'You know, I was buying this resume until I got to the part about you serving on your town's Ouija Board.'

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

'The meaning of life?.. You want the next mountain along.'

"I need a sounding board, Mr. Wiley. Could you be that?"

"Keeping down twelve pints is rather impressive, Mr Bagley, but can you describe any other, rather more pertinent, strengths?"

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago on take-your-child-to-work day my father wouldn't let me go home again."

Career options for fleas were limited.

'Nobody ever said that being a youth pastor would be EASY.'

"Have you ever considered biological terrorism?"

Careers guidance

'...and there's the DSS!'

"We've got a vacancy for a church mouse, if you're interested?"

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

"Life isn't about the money you make. Do what you love!"

When asked what impresses them least in a candidate, most interviewers cite 'not listening to the question'...

'My dad says job security and company loyalty are an urban myth.'

'Have you considered opera?'

"I'm sorry my Boy, but you're just not built for a career in Law"

I used to be a GP, but I wanted a job where I got more public support!

"Look – you want a new career as a fireman, that's fine. But I wouldn't wear that thing around here in the mean time."

Secretly, She's Always Hated Young Adam Kassan.

'No education, no skills, no experience, no character references... I'm afraid the only thing left for you is politics.'