Career Guidance Skeptic Pillows

"Have you thought about continuing to be a downtrodden member of the underclass?"

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

Blend Schools

'Nothing serious. I just hate my job.'

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

'What do I do for a living?? Isn't it obvious?'

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

School of Baristas

'You know, I was buying this resume until I got to the part about you serving on your town's Ouija Board.'

'You're at that awkward age where the others have figured out that you're a drone and you don't do anything.'

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

'The meaning of life?.. You want the next mountain along.'

Creature Plumbing

"I need a sounding board, Mr. Wiley. Could you be that?"

"We've got a vacancy for a church mouse, if you're interested?"

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago on take-your-child-to-work day my father wouldn't let me go home again."

"Keeping down twelve pints is rather impressive, Mr Bagley, but can you describe any other, rather more pertinent, strengths?"

"Have you ever considered biological terrorism?"

'Nobody ever said that being a youth pastor would be EASY.'

Careers guidance

'...and there's the DSS!'

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

Career options for fleas were limited.

'Have you considered opera?'

"Life isn't about the money you make. Do what you love!"

'My dad says job security and company loyalty are an urban myth.'

When asked what impresses them least in a candidate, most interviewers cite 'not listening to the question'...

"I'm sorry my Boy, but you're just not built for a career in Law"

Secretly, She's Always Hated Young Adam Kassan.

I used to be a GP, but I wanted a job where I got more public support!

'No education, no skills, no experience, no character references... I'm afraid the only thing left for you is politics.'

Procrastinator's support group