Ironic Career Seekers Pillows

"Look – you want a new career as a fireman, that's fine. But I wouldn't wear that thing around here in the mean time."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Blend Schools

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

'My resume,...in rap form!'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

'Congratulations. It's an eight pound court reporter.'

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'

'Since the healthcare legislation became law, our Little MBA kit outsells our Little Doctor Kit by a hundred to one.'

"You cleaned out your desk so efficiently you've been rehired and placed in charge of Housekeeping."

'I think I've finally found my own niche.'

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

Can You Dance?

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

Creature Plumbing

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

I'm looking for a man who's not wrapped up in his career. I want his career to be me. I was just imagining working my way up.

"I've enjoyed being a pet, but it's time for me to get a real job."

'I looked at your resume and the good news is I like the paper it was typed on. Do you really want to know the bad news?'

Most Likely to Succeed

'Special skills? Well, I've been told I make a mean martini!'

"I always wanted to be something. I only wish I'd been more specific."

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

"Yeah...I don't think this country's ready to elect a single woman as its president."

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

Curse of the mutant gene.

Let's see... Graduated from Notre Dame... Majored in bell ringing... Minored in stair climbing... Busted your hump for 3 years at the Frank & Stein facility conducting a brain research - Looks like you accidentally crossed out the 'R-E'. Heh.

'Nothing against you, dad, but I'd rather be a political pundit.'

Man to run supermarket (out of town)

Career options for fleas were limited.

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"What company do you see yoursel starting when you leave this one in five years?"