Ironic Career Seekers Gifts

"Look – you want a new career as a fireman, that's fine. But I wouldn't wear that thing around here in the mean time."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Blend Schools

"Well, once you get your PhD on 'The Return of the Repressed in Early Jacobean Drama', then we;ll discuss how disappointed you are."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

'Congratulations. It's an eight pound court reporter.'

'Ambitious? You sit there admitting you're a troublemaker!'

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'

"You cleaned out your desk so efficiently you've been rehired and placed in charge of Housekeeping."

'Since the healthcare legislation became law, our Little MBA kit outsells our Little Doctor Kit by a hundred to one.'

"I've enjoyed being a pet, but it's time for me to get a real job."

Can You Dance?

'Looks like the sexton position is still vacant.'

'I looked at your resume and the good news is I like the paper it was typed on. Do you really want to know the bad news?'

Most Likely to Succeed

'Special skills? Well, I've been told I make a mean martini!'

"I always wanted to be something. I only wish I'd been more specific."

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

"Yeah...I don't think this country's ready to elect a single woman as its president."

Curse of the mutant gene.

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

'Nothing against you, dad, but I'd rather be a political pundit.'

Man to run supermarket (out of town)

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago, on take your child to work day, my father wouldn't let me go home again."

Career options for fleas were limited.

Let's see... Graduated from Notre Dame... Majored in bell ringing... Minored in stair climbing... Busted your hump for 3 years at the Frank & Stein facility conducting a brain research - Looks like you accidentally crossed out the 'R-E'. Heh.

"Well, I made you a job offer and you accepted. I guess the only thing left is for me to read you your Miranda rights."