Quirky Career Hunter Pillows

ROBOT EMPLOYMENT AGENCY, 'We don't have much on hand right now --how'd you like to be a Pez dispenser?'

The world's most unemployable family

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Blend Schools

"What sets you apart from other candidates?"

Urine Catcher

'...we are looking for someone with great interpersonal communication skills.'

"We do price loyalty, but we were also rather hoping for a candidate who could read right and walk on two legs."

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"A Ph.D. in particle physics, experience in aerospace and rocketry...of course I can juggle."

"By the way, I'm giving notice I start at Hooters on Monday."

"Any other skills?"

"And the hiring committee was very impressed with your no nonsense attitude during the interview."

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

'My resume,...in rap form!'

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

'Man, I gotta find a new gig!'

'So far, so good -- I got a second interview!'

Bovine Proctology Graduation

Dexter Flynn, Taxidermy Attorney.

"Your experience is impressive and your qualifications excellent but I'm afraid you're let down by not being the same as everyone else."

"An MBA, a PhD, AND good at catching mice? Wow!"

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'You know, I was buying this resume until I got to the part about you serving on your town's Ouija Board.'

'I think I've finally found my own niche.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'And what do you do for a living Gary?' 'I'm a Puppeteer.'

"...I'm available for interview, at your convenience!"

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"

'I love your 'never-say-never' attitude, but we never hired you.'

Creature Plumbing