Future Skeptic Pillows

'I've traveled back in time to warn you...in the future you'll be charged a fee to watch television AND the commercials, you'll need a computer to hear music, and morons roam the streets with tiny phones they talk extremely loud into!'

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

'I can't see any future in my business.'

"My gut tells me that the future will be more befuddling than we can imagine. Befuddlingisimo."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"If your dad is truly the King of the Jungle, why can't you ask him to abolish school?"

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'You're FLUNKING me? - Doesn't SENIORITY count for anything around here?'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"Personally, this child would love to be 'left behind.'"

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

'So help me, which god?'

"Enjoy my first day at school? You mean there'll be others?"

"I don't really believe in the tooth fairy anymore, but if it pays, I play!"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'Oh my god!'

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Spaghetti made from squash? Sounds like fake news."

"Our integrated approach to medicine skillfully combines an array of holistic alternative treatments with a sophisticated computerized billing service."

'I blame the internet.'

'He's a very good doctor, and I trust him, but I must confess that I always double check his diagnosis on Google.'

Fish "I hate going back to school"

"What did I learn in school today? - Frankly, Mom, you're better off not knowing."