Savvy Skeptic Pillows

'I blame the internet.'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

Doing Something About the Weather

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

Alternative Accountants

'So help me, which god?'

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"It's a bit of a scam. They sell the crystal ball at cost, then nail you on the price of replacement psych-ink cartridges."

'Oh my god!'

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"Yes, I've read the bible. I've also read 'Harry Potter', but I don't believe in wizards."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"When Daddy goes by, make sure he can see how bored we are."

"My religion makes sense if you want it to."

"First, I'll need to see an audited statement of revenue and expenses."

'I don't care about your stinking study. This time, it better not be the placebo.'

"The Man Who Knew Enough"

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

"I never saved for a rainy day...I grew up shopping in an enclosed mall!"

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."

"Of course I believe in God. He's as real as Santa."