Mindful Skeptic Pillows

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Nothing is as it seems, my son."

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

House of Wishful Thinking

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Actual Results May Vary

'Jesus? Jesus who?'

'So help me, which god?'

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

Al, you're oblivious to life's bigger picture. And loving it!

'You've convinced me. I'm becoming an atheist.'

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."