Salary Guru Gifts

"I want to be paid a salary where I won't feel as if I'm doing a favor working here."

"A delightful arrangement Miss Chalmers..."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"I need to tinkle."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Kirsten Johnson

Inflating Boobs.

Organic Soldering.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Guru.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"How'd I do on the test?"

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Bob’s Museum

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'