Benefits Guru Gifts

Small business nurturing employee health insurance.

"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"

Will work for 6-figure salary, excellent health care plan, and generous retirement package.

Our dental plan consists of a toothbrush and toothpaste.

'Why, there isn't even a company folder for 'Perks'!'

'What's a 13 letter word that means BENEFITS PACKAGE?'

"Oh no! It's another lecture on his pension contributions!"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

Soaring Profits

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

National Academy of Sport

Roasting the Moneybox

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

Keep Fit.

Congratulations on the new you!

Smart card.

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'