Health Insurance Guru Gifts

'My teeth are all my own. They cost me a fortune.'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

National Academy of Sport

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Congratulations on the new you!

Keep Fit.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Roasting the Moneybox

'I gotta lose some weight.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'Have you been working out?'

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction