Health Insurance Expert Gifts

Akron, oh, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great-great-grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept on plowing.

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I can explain the Theory of Relativity, but I can't figure out which is the best Medicare Plan.'

Tonight: Al Hari Kish, leading yoga expert, speaks on 'this topsy-turvy world'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

Medicare: More is Better!

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

"Be patient, son. Dinner will be served shortly..."

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

"At this point we're no longer testing you. We're testing your insurance."

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

"Your insurance company decided the heart surgery isn't necessary, but they said they'd approve breast augmentation."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'I really should have paid more attention to the company's health care coverage options before I accepted a job here.'

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

"Yes, healthcare costs too much in the U.S., but overmedicating patients is expensive."

"Your prognosis is tied to the outcome of the election."

"You're right, Obamacare doesn't cover everything."

'Do you want to play doctor?' 'I can't, you're not insured.'

"Why does every disaster movie start with the government ignoring a scientist? Like that would ever happen."