Health Care Expert Gifts

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Obama Healthcare.

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Long shift?'

Budget

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

Doctors Discussion

Healthcare declaration

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."

Health Care Crisis table.

South Carolina's War on Women

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

"The real question is whether health care is a basic human right or a bona-fide commercial opportunity."

We'll have to reproduce fast to defeat the antibodies! I get it! Divide and conquer!

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

survival of the fittest

"Buildings are falling down, roads are crumbling, fuel supplies are hacker. We break for an ad for drugs that will get you through it."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

Govt. UK led by Seance

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'Do we have any oldies but goodies that you would care to hear?'

Holding a gun to the WHO

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."