Health Expert Gifts

"Why does every disaster movie start with the government ignoring a scientist? Like that would ever happen."

Tonight: Al Hari Kish, leading yoga expert, speaks on 'this topsy-turvy world'

Waiting room scene and signs that say 'Dr. Ooze's Clinic - As seen on TV.'

'I don't care what the health experts say...I don't do soy milk.'

"Lockdown?They should be locked up!"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Prostate: 51st State

Covid and the Vaccines

Vaccine

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

30 Days Has Movember

Uncle Sam: I want you..to live and pay taxes...stop smoking!

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Pre-Old Blues

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

"The cape comes off too."

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."