Health Adviser Gifts

"You're my second opinion. . . my wife was my first."

"I'm recommending a more balanced diet."

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

Covid and the Vaccines

Vaccine

Prostate: 51st State

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

30 Days Has Movember

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

Uncle Sam: I want you..to live and pay taxes...stop smoking!

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Man reads note, which reads: Have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, I don't know where your dinner is.

"The cape comes off too."

Preventive medicine.

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

Vaccines vs Variants

Regardless children just want to fit in.

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

Covid vaccines

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Professional to fish about mounted fish: 'This is what happens if you let yourself get hooked on worms.'