Health Insurance Professional Gifts

"This patient has a rare form of medical insurance."

Good Luck With the American Health-Care System

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'You could never get this level of medical treatment in Canada? Mr. Smith. We'll have that hangnail treated once your check clears.'

'Under my health plan, alternative medicine, including placebos and hypochondria remedies will be covered.'

'-a Mister Wison,Accident Insurance to see you.'

"Yes, healthcare costs too much in the U.S., but overmedicating patients is expensive."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Give me the non-smokers rate. I only smoke when I'm visiting you.'

"Williams, you're now eligible for the company dental plan. It's a proactive one-time total extraction event..."

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Physician tending a mummy.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

Cardiac Recovery.

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.