Health Insurance Specialist Gifts

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

To you, hyochondria, to me, it's getting the most out of my company health plan.

"Yes, we have managed care. We manage not to care."

"Do you further promise to love, honor and obey this insurance company and to disclose to it any pre-existing medical conditions?"

'Mitt Romney says I should be able to fire you...'

'Senator Harvil will explain how private health care with a public trigger option will work.'

'The good news is that you'll be able to continue working and pay my bill.'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

'Stop! Don't try to move him until we get his insurance information!'

"He's a whiz kid."

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

'Everything looks good, Now, we'll just bring in the company psychic to see if you have any pre-existing conditions from a previous life.'

Medicare: More is Better!

'Before we unload him, he'd like a written price support.'

"Your insurance company decided the heart surgery isn't necessary, but they said they'd approve breast augmentation."

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

Warning: Eating This Food Could Result in a Decrease of Health Benefits

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

"Be patient, son. Dinner will be served shortly..."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"At this point we're no longer testing you. We're testing your insurance."

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

"Yes, healthcare costs too much in the U.S., but overmedicating patients is expensive."