Insurance Specialist Gifts

'Here's your family dental plan.'

'No, that's not his scary Halloween zombie costume, that's his scary ICD-10 rollout look.'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Insurance cover for naturist.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Medicaid Expansion: "Better not take the risk, you never know when the well's going to run dry..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

Obama Healthcare.

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Relax, we're letting you go. Your insurance didn't go through.'

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

Healthy Patients Only

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'