Insurance Negotiation Expert Gifts

"The nice part is you're in the right place for resucitation if you pass out from the bill."

'Now that I have your attention...'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

Cat to second cat: 'I need you to sign a pre-nap.'

Tsipras and Merkel

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

'Let's go raise some hell and tell people we support government sponsored health care!'

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'