Insurance Professionals Gifts

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

The Board

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Healthy Patients Only

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

'Let's go raise some hell and tell people we support government sponsored health care!'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

"At this point we're no longer testing you. We're testing your insurance."

"Your insurance company decided the heart surgery isn't necessary, but they said they'd approve breast augmentation."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'What do I do now? -- the company I buy my malpractice insurance from is being sued for malpractice!'

Where HMO's are headed

"With this policy, at the age of 12, he receives 10 marrow bones a month."

Uncle Mort's Storytime. Billy the pachyderm was a nice guy who got a sticker stuck in his thigh. Restrooms. Went he for help to his mouse friend Fred … I'll take our yer sticker, Dr Fred said. Just one question before I advance. Who do you have for your insurance? I am not covered, poor Billy cried. So, limp Billy did 'till the day he died. Waaaaaah!