Grand Prix Guru Gifts

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

"I need to tinkle."

'He's serious about this no overtaking business.'

If Bernie Ecclestone does not get his pound of flesh from Montreal, the Canadian Grand Prix will not roll.

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

Apples for sale

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Intelligent people laugh too!

'But what is the universe for?'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Newton's Cradle Solar System

"Bonk!"

Guru.

Getting through the week.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

His and Hers Gravity Bars.

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Galileo soon modified his gravity experiments" "Ready to catch it?"

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

OM, SWEET OM

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"