Granite Guru Gifts

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

"How can you be out of wings?"

The Vineyard

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Apples for sale

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"I need to tinkle."

'But what is the universe for?'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Oh Hi!'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Come and get it!"

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Bonk!"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling