Grindstone Guru Gifts

"You need to take it easier henderson. You're working yourself into the ground"

'Ms. Pembrook, we really don't require you to put your nose to the grindstone ALL the time.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Come and get it!"

Getting through the week.

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

100k Desert Crawl

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

Funky Chef 2

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

The staple grains tended to look down on the more specialized fare... like quinoa.