Gemstone Guru Gifts

"I love the idea of getting married to a jeweller."

"Why bother?"

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Will you be mine?

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

The last word.

"You idiot! I said, 'Buy more gold', not mold!!"

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

A 93% pure nugget of lunacy in its natural state.

"I take it this is a very special occasion."

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

"You need to take it easier henderson. You're working yourself into the ground"

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Shooting - No. VIII

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

'It's a high pressure job but worth it.'

"This one is a storybook Arts and Crafts home. The glitter stencils and macaroni art is all original."

Merrily covering everything in glitter...

'You'd never guess he was the boss by the way he plays poker.'

'Ms. Pembrook, we really don't require you to put your nose to the grindstone ALL the time.'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

"It's mine ... all mine! I wonder if there's enough to pay off my student loans."

An oyster shows off it has a diamond instead of a pearl.

"Does it say what we use for money?"

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.