Gemstone Enthusiast Gifts

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

Will you be mine?

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"Yes, we’d like to buy a grow house." "Chia Pet’s first purchase."

Woman throwing giant pot.

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

Investor alternates between hating and loving gold, depending on the stock market's performance.

' Of course I didn't just marry you for your money dear.There was also your house in France,the Rolls Royce,your mother's diamonds...'

'To tell you the truth, you've ruined the gold market, Mr Midas!'

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

Eye-catching Diamond rings.

'As you can see, we've been recapitalized.'

Artisanal Pottery

"Stop complaining, granite is in."

'Try to become less emotional, Mr Stone!'

"I take it this is a very special occasion."

"I love the idea of getting married to a jeweller."

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

Daylight Savings Time comes to Stonehenge.

"Let's get to work, there's gold in them there hills."

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

Rhinestone Accountant

She said she loved diamonds. So on her birthday, he took her to a baseball game.

"The amethyst has calming properties – which is great when you’re out of Xanax."

"He has a little place in the basement where he's trying to transmute amethysts into antibiotics."

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.