Griddle Guru Gifts

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'Oh Hi!'

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"Come and get it!"

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Getting through the week.

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

100k Desert Crawl

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

Funky Chef 2

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.