Saintly Sports Star Gifts

Basketball Halo

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

Halo Frisbee.

"That's the preacher's dog."

St. Elmo's fired.

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

'True - There is no 'I' in team. But there is in 'I don't need my crummy team.'

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

'Kid, go out there and play like you're worth 29 million plus signing bonus, buyouts, and endorsement deals. '

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

'Sixteen home runs, 34 runs batted in, and nine stolen bases. I'd call that being good.'

"He's very proud of his stomach's 'good bacteria'."

'I'm real sorry. It was all the 'blonde' jokes you told.'

Angel using his hal to play golf.

"Bad timing – he's in one of his Old testament moods today."

"I'm afraid we don't accept bribes here, sir."

"I wasn't responsible for those sins."

Football today

'Go out and win one to maintain your current lifestyles.'

Monk

"You'll soon get used to it, being deceased is fun."

'Sorry to disturb you, sir, but coach is wondering if it is OK to put you in the game.'

"You have a mask?"

"Should I practice my violin or my curve ball?"

Saint Christopher

"You're just in time. We're having vegetarian chili tonight."

"Open your mouth so I can take a DNA sample."

How To Saint . . .

'I'd buy her a drink, but I don't think I can do that up here.'

"Quickly! Call the hair stylist!"

"I remember behavior like that being followed by fire and brimstone."

We don't have a 'reasonable doubt' rule up here!

"Don't you sometimes wish that maybe you had been just a little bit naughtier in your former life?"