Saintly Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"I see you're of good character."

St. Elmo's fired.

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"In heaven there are no trees."

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Meditating cat. 'Hi! You have reached the 4th state of consciousness. We're not in right now...

Priest

Saint Gustaf, patron of pranksters and practical jokers. Martyred by angry mob in 725.

"I'm your guardian angel. But due to some technical glitz, I happen not to be invisible!"

"Now that I'm enlightened, I have to admit: I kind of miss the suffering."

'Hey, come on -- You've got to believe in yourself!'

'That's right. I took all your money and didn't teach you a darn thing -- enlightening, isn't it?'

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

"Bad timing – he's in one of his Old testament moods today."

"I wasn't responsible for those sins."

'This is God I Missed you in church last Sunday.'

The Pee and Pray - for today's busy Christian.

I agree it's kind of sad...but it was just a matter of time.

"Don't sit under the Bodhi Tree with anyone else but me."

'Pig flu??!'

'It's amazing how fast people become big tippers.'

'Y'know, I came here long before there was all that modern technology!'

"I regret believing in reincarnation."

"What happens on earth stays on earth, right, sir?"

'Now-Now! We all make mistakes.'

"And one more thing: you don't get to pardon yourself."

Saint Peter using a security screening.

Jesus Loves Me According To Wikipedia

"That was one #!@* good sermon Preacher."

"Let's get to know him. He's being fast tracked to sainthood."