Saintly Humor Gifts

"When I found out I couldn't take it with me, I left it all to charity."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Drive-thru Church

St. Elmo's fired.

Praying mantis.

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Shoe repair

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

"I was lucky -- my parents went to Heaven."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'Stick on Souls'

Pope Benedict at Easter

'I'd like to leave the priesthood to marry you, Sister Agnes, but I hate to leave show biz!'

'I'm sorry but you obviously don't believe in God because you didn't forward the religious emails to 10 or more people in your address book.'

'...And the meek shall receive a huge bailout!'

Dangerous Populist Pope

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

Saint Gustaf, patron of pranksters and practical jokers. Martyred by angry mob in 725.

'That's St Joseph. He's the patron saint of baby aspirin.'

"Bad timing – he's in one of his Old testament moods today."

"I wasn't responsible for those sins."

''Halliburton'? Wait a minute! -- I meant for the MEEK to inherit the Earth!'

'Now-Now! We all make mistakes.'

'Pig flu??!'

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

'Twelve More Disciples'

'I'd buy her a drink, but I don't think I can do that up here.'

Saint Peter using a security screening.

How To Saint . . .

"Let's get to know him. He's being fast tracked to sainthood."