Sailing Buff Gifts

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

'It's a U-boat...on a key chain.'

And now on trumpet... 'Tha she blows!'

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

Piracy on a boating lake

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

'No, Ben, making your eyes go bigger does not make the fish grow bigger!'

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

On board the MS Hepatology

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

"It's a survival instinct...they know there's an underwater pipe pumping out untreated effluent somewhere around here."

Submariners' Eye Test.

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

"Quick! Hide the valuables."

Rowing - Eights / After Eights.

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'Honda has recalled the U.S. Sixth Fleet due to leaky sunroofs.'

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

A writer goes sailing.

'Oops, sorry about that,sir.'

The Bonvoy Age...

Have a very piratical Birthday

Tug Of War

"A textbook landing..."

"What a beautiful day to set sail!"

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

Flying Dutchman