Boating Buffs Gifts

"Just be glad we had the boat on the roof!"

Man struggling with fish: 'I thought fishing was supposed to ease tension!!'

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

The Food Chain

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

The rain has been falling for so long the animals are pairing up and forming queues by the boat! It must be time for the Crick boat show...

'I don't mind being caught,it's that kissing I hate.'

'No, Ben, making your eyes go bigger does not make the fish grow bigger!'

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"Maybe next time you won't drink so much lake water."

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

A Couple in A Speedboat.

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

'They said before they start biting do we practice catch and release?'

'Mom... Dad... I'm a bottom feeder!'

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Submariners' Eye Test.

'You didn't like ice fishing either! There's no way of satisfying you!'

Tug Of War

'George, I know it's your favorite lure, give it up.'

'Oops, sorry about that,sir.'

'You're talking three million, ballpark

"A textbook landing..."

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

"I don't care what the owner's name is. It's bad luck."

Captain of ship, surrounded by rough drafts and scrunched-up pieces of paper, says: 'Dammit bosun, we can't set sail without a coherent mission statement.'

'Now blow like hell!'