Boat Race Buff Gifts

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Do you mind?"

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

'Could you wear this? You're scaring away the fish.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

Loud mouth bass.

'No, Ben, making your eyes go bigger does not make the fish grow bigger!'

The rain has been falling for so long the animals are pairing up and forming queues by the boat! It must be time for the Crick boat show...

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

Gone Bookkeepin'

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'It was this big. I swear'

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Any nibbles yet, hon?"

'I thought I knew what a cubit was.'

'If we took the boat out, it might get dirty or scratched. Can't we sit here for the next several hours and talk about why you accused me of being paranoid?'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

Submariners' Eye Test.

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

The Sea Anglers: There is a warm feeling of brotherhood among all those who love messing about in boats...

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

"What on earth were you thinking when you named your boat?"

"Cool, Dad. When did you get a motor for the raft?"

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

Rowing - Eights / After Eights.