"Believe it or not this is the original stack of bibles that I perjured myself on."
Sacred Text Scholar Gifts
Looking for a thoughtful gift for the sacred text scholar in your life? Our unique collection features clever, spiritually inspired designs that beautifully honor their passion for ancient wisdom and scholarly pursuits. Whether they love to reflect, study, or share their insights, these products add a touch of personality and reverence. From humorous mugs to inspiring prints, find a gift that resonates with their love of sacred texts and scholarly curiosity.
"If you used a smaller font they would all fit on one tablet."
Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!
"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"
'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'
John Bunyan
"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."
"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"
The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.
'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''
"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"
'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'
"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."
"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."
"I've got writer's block."
"You call this a constitution?"
Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.
"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."
"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."
"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"
"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"
"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."
Cleric with bible briefcase.
"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"
"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."
'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'
The World's Biggest Book Club
'Can I download that as a PDF?'
'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'
'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'
'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'
"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."
"What did Jesus order?"
"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"
"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"
Sacred Text Scholar Gifts Collection
Sacred Text Scholar Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs featuring sacred text-inspired designs—ideal for scholars who love to sip their insights with a side of wit.
Sacred Text Scholar Pillows
Find pillows adorned with spiritual wisdom and humorous quotes—great for cozying up your reading space or scholar’s office.
Sacred Text Scholar Prints
Decorate with inspiring prints that celebrate sacred texts and scholarly pursuits, adding a meaningful touch to any study or library.
Sacred Text Scholar T-Shirts
Discover T-shirts with clever and respectful tributes to sacred texts—perfect for scholars who wear their passion with pride and humor.