Rubbish Researcher Gifts

Garbage DNA

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

Daisy Diaper Service

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

COP26

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

Monitoring the Air Quality

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

Grooming for beginners.

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

"My God! There are traces of tuna fish in this shipment of mercury."

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

'Where is the rest of your inventory? Why isn't there a price tag on this one? Just what kind of rug store is this anyway?'

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

Corn Price Denialism

"Tidy Tim."

"Romance beckons, don't hold back, adventure awaits, Pisces in picture..."

Genetically Modified Food Research Institute

'I intend to burn the midnight oil finding ways to cut back on our carbon footprint, Simpkins...'

"Not that there's much choice up here, but how would you like to go: Polar bear attack, freezing to death or choking on a piece of blubber?"

Rubbish spoiling water falls

'What are YOU looking at?'

Hurricane Season

'Huh! There goes Sunday lunch!'

Anti-Litter Machine

"Smack, nibble... look at all this garbage! People like to go for a walk in nature but the fill it with trash. They have no manners at all..."

"Do you think we should have the barometer extended?"

Extreme Science

"The council want you to have this extra bin madam. It's not for putting rubbish into through - it's just to take up any unused space in your front garden."

'Oh, great...a human. You know if you see one, there are hundreds more you don't see.'