Rubbish Connoisseur Gifts

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

'A free plastic toy, cornflakes scattered around the victim... Yep, it looks like our cereal killer alright!'

3 Bottle Banks - Clear, coloured and rum bottles.

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

'Hi, we'd like to talk to you about how to prepare for life after death.'

A couple with dog look at restroom signs of a man, a woman, and a fire hydrant.

"This is actually a cartoon about lemmings - just wait for it."

Instagram!!!

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

"Janet, please don't disturb now. I'm reading the funnies."

'She hates to see me happy.'

Dark and Stormy

"Don't be late - I'm making moldy meat and orange peels over coffee grinds with a side of egg shells."

'I'm just spending the morning in bed with the Sunday funnies.'

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"Bigots!"

"Actually, it's super-'person!'"

Anti-Litter Machine