Rubbish Connoisseur Gifts

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

The boss yells at me whenever I try to think outside the box! He's giving you some constrictive criticism!

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

'A free plastic toy, cornflakes scattered around the victim... Yep, it looks like our cereal killer alright!'

3 Bottle Banks - Clear, coloured and rum bottles.

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

'Psst, Senator, not that one -- that's your HIDDEN agenda!'

Laundromat: Bulletin Board - Have you seen this sock?

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

A couple with dog look at restroom signs of a man, a woman, and a fire hydrant.

'Hi, we'd like to talk to you about how to prepare for life after death.'

Are you familiar with the phrase "demography is destiny"?

"This is actually a cartoon about lemmings - just wait for it."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Six

"Don't be late - I'm making moldy meat and orange peels over coffee grinds with a side of egg shells."

More Animal Grammar. Blackbird. Bluebird. Black and blue bird.

Stand Up Vacuums

Park cleaner sweeping dirt under a statue.

'I'm just spending the morning in bed with the Sunday funnies.'

"Janet, please don't disturb now. I'm reading the funnies."

Instagram!!!

Dark and Stormy

'She hates to see me happy.'

'What are you trying to say, Alan?'

"Bigots!"

"Actually, it's super-'person!'"