Mud Connoisseur Gifts

'She hates to see me happy.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

'I love you...but you don't half stink!'

"Is it something I said dear?"

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"I know it is of this earth...."

Playing pig

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

'It says here that erosion moves soil from one place to another. I thought that was our job.'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

Cheese Secret

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

'I love rock festivals!'

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

The Pooperrazzi

'Look! It's Trendy Vineyards' Merlot Window Cleaner! Streak-free cleaning, because it's 50 proof!'

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

'You get into that mud puddle and take a bath.'

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."

"We want you to design the drainage system so that we have a muddy backyard..."

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

"I've been interfacing with mud."

"Now that the playground's thawed, let's welcome back Mary Redmond, Sarah Turpin, and Hector D'Amico."

"Relax, Hargraves, … we're all 'Muckety-Mucks' here."