Manure Connoisseur Gifts

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I know it is of this earth...."

"Mulch madness"

'I love you...but you don't half stink!'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Cereal Tasting.

'It says here that erosion moves soil from one place to another. I thought that was our job.'

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'I love rock festivals!'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Bird nesting in the garden.

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

The stuff of Legend.

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

'You get into that mud puddle and take a bath.'

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

Gone to seed.