Manure Connoisseur Gifts

YOUR HORSE - Poster style outlining horse parts.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

"I know it is of this earth...."

'I love you...but you don't half stink!'

"Mulch madness"

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

Cereal Tasting.

'It says here that erosion moves soil from one place to another. I thought that was our job.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'Get right back out there, young man, and track some mud in!'

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Bird nesting in the garden.

'I love rock festivals!'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

'You get into that mud puddle and take a bath.'

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

The stuff of Legend.