Royal Satirists Gifts

Chop, chop! I've got a golf meeting in 20 minutes!

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"All rise."

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

"Your early stuff was funnier."

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

"King of what, exactly?"

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

King reaching for an apple

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

'I still think you're lucky -- sitting in the corner isn't much of a punishment for TREASON.'

"That's kingsize?"

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'It's amazing what you can get on e-Bay these days.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'