Royal Court Humorist Gifts

"But you did not bow to his cuteness."

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

"I resign Sire - I've landed my own show on Channel 4..."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"All rise."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

"Your early stuff was funnier."

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

King reaching for an apple

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

'I still think you're lucky -- sitting in the corner isn't much of a punishment for TREASON.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'