Royal Court Comedic Gifts

'Don't worry -- he's a trained professional.'

Gary turns 40.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'Timeout! ... Coaching change.'

A barrister with his first brief

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'How bad is it?'

"Your early stuff was funnier."

'He's a little unpredictable, but with the right combination of medication and therapy, he can make an impact on this league.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

"Umm. . . Hello? I'm over here!"

King reaching for an apple

'It was Bob's last wish to spread his ashes on the spot where he spent most of his athletic career.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

'You think you've got a bad knee? Let me tell you about a bad knee, my brother.'

"It is not you. It is we."

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'I still think you're lucky -- sitting in the corner isn't much of a punishment for TREASON.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'