Royalty Humor Gifts

"That's kingsize?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

"Your early stuff was funnier."

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

"King of what, exactly?"

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

King reaching for an apple

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"It is not you. It is we."

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

Joke of a lover

Palanquin Toilet Break

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'