Royalty Humor Fan Gifts

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

'Maybe I'd be more in the mood, if we did it in your counting house.'

'Just give him the funnies -- he's not ready for poll results yet.'

Mick Jagger Knighthood - "I wish he'd keep still..I'll have his flaming ear off in a minute!"

"You think it's EASY collecting all these taxes?"

Snail Red Carpet

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

'The King of what?'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

King and Jester

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"One blackbird pizza?"

"All rise."

'Why round? Why not square? Or rectangle? Or a triangle? Or . . . '

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"...and if any of you are opposed to my being king of the snake pit, raise your hands now!"

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

''Proclaim freedom throughout the land'? -You're kidding, right?'

Cleopatra

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'I don't know. Neo-monarchism sounds good...'