Royalty Humor Lover Gifts

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Graffiti Reads: Down with the kingStoopid KingKing Stinks. You and your literacy programs!

"I'm making moatmeal. Do you want some?"

'Maybe you'd feel better if you cut somebody's head off.'

'Tell His Majesty we really do need some more ashtrays.'

'Go forth and bring me back women with BIG TITS.'

Barry the XVI and Michelle Antoinette

Burger Monarch Needs Help with Taxes

Prince Albert in a Can

'How about a game of cards?'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

King reaching for an apple

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"It is not you. It is we."

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'