Royalty Humor Pillows

"That's kingsize?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Your early stuff was funnier."

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

King reaching for an apple

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

"It is not you. It is we."

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

Joke of a lover

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'Scroll down, no sorry, scroll up...OK now scroll down again...'