Royalty Humorists Pillows

'Instead of a knighthood, Sire, could I just have the money instead?'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

King reaching for an apple

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

Joke of a lover

Palanquin Toilet Break