Royalty Satirist Pillows

"King of what, exactly?"

"Who named him emperor!?"

'The Royal Staircase is in the shop.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

King and clown engage in role reversal.

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

King reaching for an apple

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

"That's kingsize?"

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

Joke of a lover

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'I still think you're lucky -- sitting in the corner isn't much of a punishment for TREASON.'

Palanquin Toilet Break