Royalty Satirist Pillows

"Who named him emperor!?"

'The Royal Staircase is in the shop.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"All rise."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

Charles entered wholeheartedly into the Royal image re-building.

King and clown engage in role reversal.

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

King reaching for an apple

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

'I'm afraid the only answer is a two-state solution.'

'I still think you're lucky -- sitting in the corner isn't much of a punishment for TREASON.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

"That's kingsize?"

Joke of a lover

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'You guys are all pardoned - I'm putting in a wine cellar.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'