Royal Comedy Fans Gifts

'You got a message from Louis, but don't ask me which one- I can't keep them straight!'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Peter Cook

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

Rowan Atkinson,

Rowan Atkinson

"Security was too tight to try and nick one of those Harry Potter books so we went and crashed Prince William's 21st instead."

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

Martin Clunes

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

The Queen's Speech

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

"It is not you. It is we."

Joke of a lover

Palanquin Toilet Break

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'They're not available right now, Sire - All your economic advisors are working second jobs.'

'Hey -- this guy says we can skip capitalism and go straight to state socialism!'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'Don't be silly darling...I married you for your money, it makes no difference, pounds or euros.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

Mick Jagger Knighthood - "I wish he'd keep still..I'll have his flaming ear off in a minute!"

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

Prince Charles

"I don't care how comfortable it is - You look like an idiot!"

Snail Red Carpet