Royal Comedy Fan Gifts

"Humanitarian aid? -- What fun is that?"

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Reign Man

Peter Cook

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

Beefeater

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

Rowan Atkinson

Rowan Atkinson,

London Gin Company Limited - By Appointment to Queen Mother

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

King George IV

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

King reaching for an apple

Although Tall Enough to Play Basketball, Had There Been such a Thing, the Emperor Charlemagne Was the Son of King Pepin the Short

Question now is who needs an old corgi who can curtsy and walk backwards out the door.

Martin Clunes

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

"It is not you. It is we."

"He's a Prince Charles Spaniel."

'There must be some mistake -- Kings don't pay for things.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'