Royal Comedy Lover Gifts

"Swim across the moat but keep the pizza dry."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"Call me?"

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Love is in the air...

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

Pole vaulter jumping Lover's Leap.

Salt and Pepper

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"It's a Wonderful Life" if it was written by scientists.

A Prickly Pair

"It's about time."

Boyfriend of the Month.

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

George Clooney Machine

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

What a gentleman imagines while he holds a door open.

"I never let my hair down on the first date."

'How can you say I'm a bad actress, Tarzan?'

Lovers in toile de jouy

I want to hold your hand

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

'-and the ceremony,dearest,your place or mine?'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."